I attract only the finest of creatures


My friends and I have an ongoing joke that in a roomful of guys, the craziest one is going to hit on me.  It’s funny because it’s true.  Now I don’t get hit on very often, but when I do it’s usually highly entertaining and lucky for both you and I, I’ve created this blog so we both laugh about it.  Today was one of those days.

I had driving to work at 9 AM this morning.  We had two sessions starting at the studio at 10 AM which is unusual because that’s considered early in rock and roll time.  Nonetheless, I was on my way to get there before them and make sure there was fresh coffee going.

The day was overcast and I could see that I was just missing the light at the corner of Patton and Louisiana, the longest light in Asheville. Just as I pull up to the light a Sears delivery truck pulls up next to me and is honking at me and motioning for me to roll my window down.  I oblige since it’s 9 in the morning and I am guessing they are going to tell me I have a low tire or something like that.  I know that my car is currently leaking oil so I think maybe that’s it. Here’s what happens next:

Delivery Guy: “Hey Girl. How you doin’?”

Me: “Seriously? It’s like that?” As I realize this guy is trying to holler at me, I decide what could it hurt to see where this will go. “I’m good, how are you?”

Delivery Guy: “I’m good. I like your dog. What is it?”

Me: “She’s a Rhodesian Ridgeback.”

Delivery Guy: “For real? Where’s she from, Italy?”

Me: “No man, Rhodesia is now Zimbabwe. In Africa.”

Delivery Guy: “Oh yea. Take your sunglasses off.  I bet you have pretty eyes. Let me see.”

Me: “No, my eyes are sensitive to light.  Sorry.”

Delivery Guy: “It ain’t even bright out! Ooooh, you are hung over or high.  Which one is it?”

Me: “A little of both.”  (Yes this is the longest light ever.)

Delivery Guy: “Yeeeeeaaaahh.  What do you smoke?”

Me: “Not crack if that’s what you mean.”

Delivery Guy: “Me neither, just that good weed.  I got me some of that and a little courvoisier up in here right now.”

Me: “Right now? Isn’t it hard to get a dryer up a flight of stairs when you’re drunk and high?”

Delivery Guy: “Nah man.  It helps me keep my balance.”

FINALLY, the light changes.  I take off as he’s yelling at me to get my number.  I roll my window up and he’s still frantically waving at me and the driver is honking the horn as we drive next to each other on Patton.

What a way to start my day.